Happy 3 Months & Christmas Balloons!

Wow. Thank you for all of your sweet comments and emails after yesterday's emotional post. They have been just what I needed. I woke up this morning, after posting that at 3:30 a.m., wondering what all I had even written! You definitely got the "raw feelings" of last night, and I appreciate you all for supporting me and encouraging me and praying for me through the tough nights.

It really is funny how the nights can be so much harder than the days. From the very beginning, that has been when my tears have come easily, when my deep thoughts have bounced around in my head, and when my prayers just ramble on and on, as I try to make sense of so much.

And, then the morning comes, and He literally is "the lifter of my head" and the Provider of all I need for the day ahead.

So, thank you for bearing with me.

Today was a great day.

We had Kendyll's sweet friend and future roomie, Hollyn for the night.

And, the girls had so much fun "playing roomates", crafting it up, and watching for the snow {that never quite came}. They did find time to ride scooters in 30 degree weather though. As usual, Mom was inside the cozy house and made Dad do the cold stuff. I did provide hot chocolate though.

We also talked with the girls about what we want to do from here about Chase, and felt really good about how they are doing and what they are wanting as far as a place to honor their brother. I'm SO thankful that God does provide guidance and direction for our family, even though it may look different than other families' choices. He has affirmed what we already thought, and I'm so glad it's clearer today than it was in the middle of the night last night. :)

Before dinner, we sent our Christmas balloons to Chase from Santa, and wished him a happy 3 month birthday in heaven. They really seem to enjoy getting to do this, and it definitely makes us all smile (even though Kendyll talked about how the balloons don't really get to Chase.) That's beside the point! It's still fun to connect to our baby boy this way, especially for the girls.

Kendyll's letter to Chase...

Carlie's famous picture, recreated every day. Our whole family drawn below, with Chase above the clouds. Some details vary, but this is a picture we see again and again...she always makes him with blonde hair (which he did have, even though she didn't see it) and a blue shirt.

Photo by Carlie...

Kendyll whispered to Chase as she let hers go. I wanted to ask what she said but I didn't. That's for her and her brother to know. :)

It was a positive end to the day...another marker of time for us. Thank you all, by the way, for loving me either way, happy or sad. Today, I was smiling again. :)