Finding Hope at Noel

The very first night of this trip, we sat and talked with Sumer, who is a mom of three from Tennessee. She went on a Visiting Orphans trip last year, similar to this trip, and was telling us about her experience. Throughout the two weeks, she visited many orphanages…and on the last day, she stood in the middle of the dump in Ethiopia, and she described what she felt there. Instead of total despair, she felt hope. She literally felt God whispering to her that this is what her purpose was. She knew in that moment that she was right where she was supposed to be. Six months later, her entire family moved to the dump and began a ministry for the kids there.As she said this, I just started crying. It took me totally off guard. She was describing what I feel when I stand in the middle of orphanages in Africa. It’s what I felt when I stood on the island in Ghana where child trafficking was happening. It’s what I feel when I hold a tiny baby who was abandoned at the door. It feels like what I was made to do. And, somehow, God shows me His light in these dark places. As I see children smile and laugh and love, I can feel His joy radiating from within. I can’t explain it any other way. And, it seems strange to even say that, when there is such pain in these places. I look around and can definitely acknowledge the despair and the loss, but I also think He shows me the great potential in these kids…and the ways He is already there moving in these places. He’s been whispering to me this week for sure.

Mark and I are praying about what that means for our family. I have no doubt in my mind that we have found our life’s work…we just don’t know what it will look like from here. Even as I type this on my way home to Dallas, I am already daydreaming about our next trip in a few months (Lord willing!).

But, I have to admit that for a few hours, as we entered the Noel Orphanage and toured through room after room of this place, the hope I usually find was squelched almost completely in my heart. Words can’t describe what we experienced there.

It was shocking to see bedrooms that should hold 15-20 kids, holding 75.

It was very hard to see baby after baby lying in wet and dirty clothes and blankets.

It was beyond description to visit the rooms of special needs children and adults, some of whom were orphaned in the genocide as small babies, and lived in the forest, eating grass like animals. They can’t walk or talk.

Almost 650 kids live on this campus, and there is room for half that many. The caretakers are doing their best, but there is just so much need here. The smells and sights are something I’ve never experienced before. And, even though there are great organizations helping here, there is still so much to be done.

Look at the precious faces of Noel...

After a morning of touring and getting introduced to the orphanage, many of us were trying to choke back our tears, because the children were noticing our reactions, and that’s the last thing they needed. As I told the other girls that morning, I hated what I felt inside. It was too much brokenness to handle, and for the first time, I just wanted to run away from it. I didn’t want to see anymore. I couldn’t see anymore. I didn’t even want to see how we could help. It was an awful feeling and took me by surprise.

But, as we stopped in a side room and prayed for strength to carry on, and for HOPE to be shown in that place, God showed up as He always does. We began to meet beautiful children like Sara's little Maria, and we all began to smile.

We had received the awful news early the first morning that a 15 year old had passed away at the orphanage the night before. We knew right away that we were sent here on this day for this time, for a reason. And, I do believe we were able to help the children through this sad time.

They had the funeral and burial there at the orphanage and we were able to attend both. What breaks my heart is that a 15 year old should not be dying here. It was preventable and treatable. But, not when he is one of over 600. They get lost in the shuffle, no matter how dedicated the caretakers may be.

But, right before the funeral, I got to sit and talk with someone who changed my perspective on life. In a moment, I was changed. This is one of the most amazing people I have ever met.

Jean is blind, struck by lightning when he was a small child. But, the blindness has brought him to a place of absolute joy in the Lord. His spirit was contagious and his gifts were so obvious. I told Sara after having one conversation with him that John was most certainly anointed by God for big things.

He loves to sing. And, he has a voice of an angel (which I told him many times). As I asked him what songs he knew, he said, “I only sing of the gospel. I like to sing about the ways of God.” Wow.

Then, in making conversation with the other boys sitting near us, I asked each of them who their favorite football club was. They all answered and then Jean said, “I like to spend my time on the things of God only.” He said this with the biggest smile, and in such a gentle, humble way.

As the funeral began, he sat by me, and explained each song’s lyrics to me in English. (He is one of the best English speakers I heard all week!) It was a Catholic mass since the orphanage is Catholic, but Jean is not. So, as he would explain what they were doing, he would politely tell me why he believes something different. And, at times he would giggle about a tradition or ritual they would perform. As he talked about his theology and his God, it amazed me. He knows God in a way most 16 year olds don’t.

He goes to a school for the blind, and they have been teaching him guitar and piano. He also sings in the church choir and is hoping to compose his own music someday. We encouraged him to start now, because his gift is just amazing! He is learning to read braille, and has asked me to email him so he can type me letters using the Braille keyboard. I can't wait to receive those letters. :)

But, the part of Jean that was most precious was his huge heart. Every emotion he has is strong, and he does not hold back. His joy is sometimes so great, he just starts clapping. These pictures show his joy when he first heard himself sing on video. I can't even describe this moment. Billy and I both had tears streaming, just watching him discover his own gift and enjoy it so much.

He has very good hearing, so we would hear a little child talking near him and he would bend down to listen and help whoever needed help. Then, he would scoop them up in his arms, smiling the whole time. He held my hand all day, playing with the charms on my bracelet and patting my hand. Anytime I was nearby, and he heard my voice, he would come searching for my bracelet. And, when he found it, he would just clap on my arm and laugh.

But, his heartache also came easily. He cried all through the funeral because this was his special friend, Patrick. They were the same age and had grown up at this orphanage together. He just shook and cried while I rubbed his back and held his hand. Then, at the burial he cried out, and two of his friends came and carried him to the back, where they all cried together.

He was just precious. And, he totally stole my heart. But, even more than that, he gave me hope. Even in this place where the darkness was almost too much, God showed me special children who are being raised to be leaders for Him. And, He is in control, regardless of the circumstances.

On our last day, before we were leaving, Jean asked if he could pray for me. Jane interpreted and Jean prayed in the small chapel at Noel. His words were so powerful, and I of course cried through the whole thing. Why was this sweet orphaned blind boy praying for ME? Because He was Jesus to anyone he met. He prayed for God’s power to be shown in my life, and for the way He has planned for me to be clear. He prayed for healing, for strength, for blessings to be poured on my family. It was just beautiful. As I prayed for him next, I just kept thinking of the beauty God was bringing from the ashes here. Jean has been chosen by God for a special purpose. And, I’m thankful that I was able to experience Jesus through Jean on these hardest two days.

And, of course, I also found some joy in the baby room too, among the many, many beds full of little ones.

Many of us mommies just sat and sang and rocked and loved on these tiny ones, and we all had our own baby we fell in love with. This is Amy's little one, Grace.

Mine was named Vestine and she was almost four months old.

She smiled at me, cooed, and rode around on my back. I was in heaven, of course!

As we got to know the kids and the caretakers better, our hearts were turned toward helping this orphanage. We are praying about a second trip here to help with medical needs we discovered. We’re also hoping to provide mosquito nets for all the children, since none of them have them right now.

There are so many ways we could get involved here. And, I’m so glad God didn’t let me run away. Even through the brokenness, He strengthens us all to stand, to encourage, to love, and to dream of greater things that could come in this place.

I want to be used by Him to make a difference for these kids. I want His glory to be revealed and for His light to overcome the darkness. The thing is, He doesn’t need me to get that done. He is already doing it. I’m just honored that He’s letting me see it firsthand.