A New Beginning

I love New Years. I have read many blogs whose authors don't agree, and feel that resolutions are pointless. But, I, however, like to stay in my dream world where all seems new and my slate is clean and I have the feeling for a week or two that I might actually accomplish a few of my goals. Now, I also have a realistic side to me, and I do know that many of my resolutions are just unattained repeats from last year....but, still! At least it's challenging to think of what I could do differently and what I would accomplish with an entire year's time.

This is my problem, though. I always aim too high. Not just with New Year's, but with every day and week and month's to-do-lists. Mark always gets frustrated with me because regardless of how much I get done in a period of time, I still feel like there were a few more things I was supposed to have finished/accomplished/attained/etc.

So, I am a weirdo. I like goals, I obsess about to-do lists, but I also make too many of them and too long of lists to EVER feel good about what I've finished....or started, for that matter.

I am going into all of this to explain the background behind my "lightbulb" moment. (or actually a message directly from the Lord, I think!) On Saturday night (New Years Eve), Mark and I chatted about our resolutions. And, by Sunday morning, I had perfected my list in my head for my new year. I prayed about them and had a conversation with myself on the way to church about how I can do these things. I decided that I would read some of the more important ones every morning and pray for strength to be this new person I was hoping to be. Of course, by the time I got to church, I had already messed up on two of my resolutions (being a positive, less critical wife and a patient mother) and I found myself already frustrated about how I was going to do this myself when I can't even get to church without telling Mark how to drive (I'm really trying to stop doing this!).

But, leave it to God to speak right to my heart. Prentice was speaking on our "Extreme Makeovers" for 2006. Alot of great things were said that I won't go into, but the one thing that struck me deepest was under point #3, My "Extreme Makeover" Leads to my Transformation. He said that "living the Christian life isn't a matter of trying harder, but of yielding more!" Yielding more to His Spirit will change me, if I just allow the Spirit's full and complete activity in my life. Through giving up my lists and goals and efforts to be something or someone I need to be, I can yield it all completely to Him, and the fruits of the Spirit I am craving in my life (patience, kindness, self control...) will come! Instead of focusing on these resolutions, I need to focus on my relationship---with the Lord, most of all! Another friend said "We spend so much time seeking God's hand to fix things, people, etc. when we really need to spend our time seeking His face...and the rest will come."

Now, I know all of that sounds so simple and common sense, and even a bit cliche in the Christian world. But, it really has encouraged me to see my efforts this upcoming year in a different light. So, even though I still have a resolution list a mile long, I also know that God will work on the parts of me He needs to, if I give it all to Him. What a freeing feeling to know that my trying harder is not what makes it work....

So, here are a few as of now (I keep adding on, and taking off. I guess I need to make a cutoff date of January 15th or something!):

1) Spend time REALLY seeking God every single day. Have quiet time that really gets deeper than just answering my Beth Moore study questions quickly before I go get something else done....time with God that lasts until it's done, not until the dryer buzzes.

2)Be a more positive, less critical, encouraging wife. I really need to do this, not only for sweet Mark's sake, but for my entire family's sake. I set the tone, and I completely realize the tone needs to be sweeter! :)

3)Be a more patient and playful mommy. Cut out the to-do lists at home and just 'be' with them. I always enjoy my day more when I take my time with things the way they do.

4)Say NO more, so that I have time to say YES to the things that most inspire me and that most closely fit my God-given strengths and talents. This has been an ongoing goal...I'm getting a little better at it, but not good enough. (So, if I tell you no, please don't be offended!)

5)Get organized!! I am better in some areas than others. My towels all face the same direction and my children's craft closet is a system of color coded boxes and labels, but other areas are suffering greatly. (which puts #1 and #2 resolutions at great risk, from the stress level I rise to when it starts to bother me....)

6)Be healthy. I am not writing "exercise" because that has been a redo on the resolution list for years and years. It just doesn't happen. But, I do want to eat healthier, feel healthier, drink more water, take my vitamins, and just be nicer to my body...I go too hard for too long before it finally makes me stop.

7)Document Memories. Create some memories in albums for my family. Notice I avoided another word similar to "exercise"...and that is "scrapbook". Many of you know how this has gone for me. I have now caught up all the way to Kendyll coming home from the hospital....four years ago. So, I have a ways to go. I'm going to free myself to find other ways to document the memories and the pictures. If it has to be the slide-the-picture-in-the-slot albums, then so be it. At least they'll be out of the monstrous stacks and shoe boxes they're in right now!

8)Maintain Perspective!! To remember every single day that it's not all about the hustle and bustle that we experience in this place....Everything we do and are in this life is about going to heaven and getting our families there with us. And, about showing Jesus to others. If I can remember that one, then 1-7 will fall into place.

Happy New Years everyone!! And, Happy Resolution List Making to each of you!