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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Is that a SKUNK?!

Well, I had to post one more time tonight just because I am laughing so hard that I had to share. And, I am warning you, it might be a long one.

Tonight looked like it would be a pretty typical night around our house. We got home from church, put the girls in bed, got lunches made for school, and outfits laid out. But, we had no idea what would be waiting for us around 10:00 pm when we were ready to head to bed. We let Annie (our golden retriever/shepherd dog) in the backyard to "do her business" before bed. Mark opened the door to let her back in and she was sniffing and going crazy at the grill. That is NEVER a good sign.

Now, before I continue the story, you have to understand our back yard if you've never been to our house. It backs up to the edge of our neighborhood and behind the stone fence that surrounds our neighborhood is a field with thick trees with a train running through it.....lots of creatures make that area home, I'm sure. So, we've had our fair share of animal experiences around here---many more than we ever wanted or planned on.

For example, any given night when we're heading down our alley, we will see bunny rabbits hopping around. Not a big deal...pretty cute, and Kendyll loves to watch them hop away. We also have a duck pond, so the occasional duck is cute too. But, there are also possums and skunks and I'm sure other things we haven't seen yet running somewhere back there too.

Well, somehow one of those little nasty rodents made it's way into OUR BACKYARD TONIGHT!!!!

To continue my story, Annie would not come in the house after being called repeatedly, which is a rare thing. We realize she has something cornered, and we immediately start freaking out. (I mean, literally.) Mark and I are not animal people OR country folk in any way. Heck, I don't even really like the cute bunnies and I hate squirrels and even birds....I know, I'm weird. So, at this point in the story, I refuse to go near the kitchen, much less the back door. So, Mark, being the brave man of the house, goes back to open the door again to see if he can get Annie away from whatever this creature is. And, the stench that came into our house in that moment was indescribable. It literally smelled like a skunk was on our couch---it was that strong!! It was horrible.

Meanwhile, Annie still won't come in the house. So, what do I do? I call my 7 month pregnant sister at 10:30 to find out what to do. She is the animal lover of our family and always wanted to be a vet. She knows more about animals than anyone I know. She and her husband are true "country folk" and aren't phased in the least bit by a little skunk-action. So, I am frantic and explain the situation to her. She says "Oh no. Just leave Annie outside for tonight and wash her in tomato sauce in the morning." WHAT???????

First of all, our dog barely even knows she's a dog...she has never slept outside and wouldn't know what to do if she had to. She has a feather pillow bed in the corner of our room that she calls a good night's sleep. Secondly, we're supposed to leave her with a skunk all night? Yuck! Third, when exactly do I have time to give her a TOMATO SAUCE BATH while getting ready to go to Sunshine School tomorrow? Oh, Cortni and Adam, we need half of your bravery and all of your calmness when dealing with rodents. We can't do it like you can!

So, we call the neighbors, call the sisters, and then realize that Annie is barking to come in. So, Mark shines a flashlight at her face through the window to make sure she is "clean" and lets her in just to go in the garage until we figure out what to do. My oh my, she reeked to high heaven. I was gagging before she even got outside again!

Then, the funniest part....Mark opens the back door thinking he'll "shoo away" whatever is back there. And, there it is....dead in our grass!!! I have never seen my husband look like that except for the time a friend of ours' son fell down our stairs and landed on his head. He looked as white as a sheet and was shivering. You would have thought he had seen a ghost.

So, we call a 24-hour vet clinic to find out if Annie was in danger---they say to bring Annie in to be cleaned and watched overnight, and that we should call Animal Control first thing in the morning to get the skunk out of here. So, Mark is now gone to the vet with Annie reeking up the car. I laid down two old blankets and told him to throw them away while he was out. He drove with all the windows down to keep the stench as low as possible (and of course took his company car!!)

Wow...alot has happened since 10:00 pm!! Our poor dog...my poor husband....and my poor patio furniture cushions, which I have been thinking about for the last half hour. It probably has to be trashed now. So, who wants to come over for a backyard grilling-out party at our house? YUCK!!

Anyway, I just had to share our stinky story with everyone. And, don't worry, Sunshine School teachers, I will wear perfume AND scented lotion tomorrow to cover up the skunk smell. Hopefully I will get through the night without skunk dreams too.....

5 comments:

Erica said...

That is hilarious! Skunk stories are always funny. When I was about 4 or 5 years old my parents and I lived in a house on a corner lot in town. (a small town) I was asleep but my Mom and Dad shared the story I am about to tell. They were going to bed for the night so they let the dog out (a poodle) one last time, as soon as Dad opened the door they got a strong whif of something. My Dad is extremely sensitive to foul odors so he told my Mom he was going to be sick if the odor did not pass. When he opened the back door he realized the odor was a skunk because it had gotten worse. Our intelligent dog had it trapped in the corner of our house and each time the dog barked the skunk sprayed. Dad somehow got the dog in the house and they tried laying in the bed till the odor passed but evidently the skunk was comfortable and where it had been spraying was the outside corner of my parents room. Dad decided he could not take the odor anymore so he called the police. An officer came to the house and told my dad he could not do anything because it was against the law to shoot a firearm in the city limits and animal control was closed for the night. My Dad said to give him the gun because he was about to die from the odor.( my Dad who has never been hunting or harmed a living creature) He took the gun and shot towards the skunk, missed the skunk I believe but shot off the corner of our house. THe skunk did leave and there was no ticket given to Dad. The story still makes me laugh. I am glad there were no weapons involved in your story. It will be fun to tell in years to come. Safe sleeping tonight.

Kristen OQ said...

That is one of the funniest stories I have heard in awhile -- now aren't you glad you blog so you will remember (like you could forget this one!).

Kristen OQ said...

And I didn't smell a thing down at your end of the hallway today!

Alyssa said...

Okay, that story TOTALLY cracked me up!!!! Poor Annie, poor Chelsea, poor Mark... what a night!

Brittyne Fitzgerald said...

Hey Chelsea! Rob and I saw your post on the Morelands blog and came to find! Love the skunk story! We are so excited to be able to start catching up with Texas friends a bit better via these blogs.

Rob says hi but is holding a crying Abigail....it is his nightly chore!

Thanks for writing such a great story to make us laugh.

Brittyne and Rob Fitz