Thoughtful Gifts...

Just today, I took a walk through time, back to those first few weeks of loss again in my mind and heart, as I spent time sharing with a friend who is walking the same devastating road this week. This is not supposed to be the way it happens. And, as I shared with her friend some things that helped me, gifts that blessed me, and scriptures that changed me, I was once again thankful that God knows me and knows exactly what I need.

Even more than that, He knows what my family needs, even when I don't. And, He provides. ALWAYS.

That is the encouragement I was able to offer today. The God who created this whole big world also created YOU. He knows what you need. He knows how to show Himself most clearly to you. And HE WILL. He promises to do so.

What I guess I didn't think about is that God still does that two years after a loss.

I didn't know that we needed a gift like we received last week as much as we did. And, I especially didn't realize how MUCH it would mean to my three girls.

A sweet friend who lost her baby as well has begun working with Molly Bears, this amazing organization that sends weighted teddy bears to families. These teddy bears are beautiful and they weigh exactly what your little one weighed at birth, so you can always feel the weight of them in your arms.

I had no idea I needed that. But, I have LOVED holding my brand new 6 pound, 1 ounce Chase Bear, given to me by Tamberly last week. I can't even believe Chase felt that heavy! But, as I cradled the bear and laid it on my chest, it all came back. :)

But, an even GREATER blessing of this bear is watching the girls open their surprise.

There was LOTS of hugging and cuddling with their new little friend...

I told them as they opened it, that the one thing I will always be sad about, and the one thing I wish I could change more than anything was the fact that they never got to hold their brother. But, now, because of the blessing of a sweet friend, they would get to know what it would have felt like to have him in their arms.

Oh my, I can't even tell you what these moments were like for them. They literally fought over Chase Bear for 24 hours straight (we ended up having to set a timer!), and they never let him out of their sight. It was SO cute.

They each had the same reaction I did when they held him. Here Abby Kate says "He's so heavy!!!" I love that look!

Tamberly, I don't know how to say thank you for knowing just what we needed on this special day.

The Chase Bear is so perfect and already so, so , SO loved. :)

Another gift came too. A friend of Kendyll's who has moved away sent a letter and $87 in cash, that she wanted to give in memory of Chase for helping kids. She had earned the money by baking cakes and wanted to send it all to us. This, too, blew us away and was such a wonderful way to end our day, knowing that others were loving us in this way...and ultimately, loving on the children in need, which is even better!

We are so blessed. Sometimes I feel like I don't say it strong enough, because there aren't words. But, we appreciate you all. I love watching my kids learn firsthand what it means to be a family of Christ. It's the most amazing thing in this world.

Happy, happy Chase Day to you all. And, to my children, both in heaven and on earth. :)

Family Celebrations!

So, let's start with this. My husband knows me really well. I know that sounds like an obvious thing. But, sometimes I am just really thankful for that gift about marriage. We work together well. :)

He knows me, and knows that when Chase Day is two days away, I'm going to panic. I'm going to come downstairs in the middle of a school day and worry to him about what we planned for Chase Day. Is it enough? Should I do something more? Have we included the girls enough? Should we have gifts for the family again this year? (I really did ask that. Crazy. I totally know that now.)

And, then, he knows just to hug me and tell me he loves me, and gently remind me that this day doesn't have to be overly scheduled and completely full of projects. It can be an easy day with our girls, being thankful for our blessings, and sharing them with others here and there.

And, then, he knew I would breathe deeper and say "You're right." and go back upstairs to teach science or something fun like that.

So, that's exactly what happened. Pretty much. (Name that kid show.)

And, I'm so glad he is who he is. The day was perfectly balanced with "acts of service and encouragement" and time together to relax. Believe me, I had a LONG list of ideas. But, I'm glad we only did half of them. :)

Our day started at the homeless shelter (as I posted about already), and was followed by a trip to Farmers Market, which might be our girls' favorite place in Dallas.

We let them pick out their flowers for Chase's Corner in our yard, and we got home to get our planting fun rolling.

Notice in this picture how HARD everyone is working, right?

Wait. Scroll back up and notice the girl standing on the bench.

See her? Well, she was good at helping everyone space the plants correctly, and wisely chose the perfect spot to move the birdfeeder to. She advised her daddy on how he could NOT trim the pecan tree because it wasn't fair to the branches. And, then she spent a lot of time making apple-sicles and pink lemonade pops for the family to enjoy after planting. But, digging and cleaning out beds and planting? Not so much.

Oh my, I love that girl. She makes a MEAN apple juice popsicle, even while her sisters are working up a sweat. :)

So, here is our finished Chase's Corner!

Boy did it need a makeover after this crazy summer heat! Now we've just got to keep it going.

We laughed and said it's a good thing Chase really lives in paradise, where there are no scorching summers or forgetful family members to water the garden there!

We had a great time planting and getting ready for fall. Then, headed out to get some goodies to send to our Compassion kids, and do a couple of "random drive-thru blessings", which the girls LOVE to do. We were also given a couple of other opportunities to bless people we came in contact with, which is just such a great reminder that this is how life should be lived EVERY day! Always looking around for the opportunity to surprise someone with love. It brought us so much joy!!

The evening of Chase Day was spent as a family of five, watching videos and looking at pictures of this last year...all that has come into our lives because of our little boy. We also spent time reading through cards and opening gifts that came to our family for Chase's 2nd birthday. (More on that in my next post!)

The next day, we had the extended family over for a balloon release and some dinner. And, mostly alot of cousin lovin' fun. :)

Watching them gather with their balloons made me smile.

And, the countdown started from 10!

And, as they released the balloons, they all yelled "HI CHASE!" and "WE LOVE YOU CHASE!!" at the top of their lungs.

See these little cupped hands? They were shouting loud enough for Chase to really hear them!

We watched the balloons float up, up, up...

Until we all watched a huge hawk begin circling the balloons! He was flying all among them and just circling and circling. I think he was VERY confused. (He's the brown spot in left center.)

But, the kids loved watching what was happening way up there.

Mark also made a GREAT 15 minute slideshow of this year to show that night, which was his first big project like this! It was amazing to see pictures and videos from the four trips to Africa since last Chase Day. It was a perfect way to end the weekend, thanking God for picture after picture of the Restoration He is bringing in our lives. What a happy CHASE Day it was. Good thing I listened to my better half. :)

CHASE Day at Sunshine School

Whew! What a weekend we had!!

It was such a wonderful blend of celebrating our son, blessing others (and receiving blessings from that too!), and just enjoying being a family.

So many of you joined us in honoring others, and we truly appreciate that. We have LOVED hearing your stories. It means more than we could ever express.

We began our CHASE Day events on Thursday, as we celebrated with Sunshine School a day early. Since Kendyll is a creature of habit to the highest extent, she decided that we would bring donuts and coffee for the teachers EXACTLY like we did last year. So, that's the way we started. :) And, Kendyll and Carlie were great hostesses of that little party.

From there, WE were blessed by the entire Sunshine School bringing breakfast cereal for the homeless shelter in Dallas that many of our friends work with every week.

The piles were overflowing during morning carpool and we were so excited to watch it multiply!

During the day, I got sweet texts from teachers there, showing me pictures of the children celebrating Chase Day in chapel. Even to see his name on everything just makes me SO proud.

And, it's always the most precious thing to me to see children giving, and grasping (oftentimes easier than adults do!) what it means to be Jesus to others. It melts my heart.

One of the biggest blessings of CHASE Day was getting to be a part of delivering the cereal the next morning.

The people at the shelter are amazing and sweet and grateful and loving. And, we were blown away by what they did to honor Chase.

They had set up a whole table full of stuffed animals, with candles in the middle to remember our baby boy. (You can kind of see it in this picture...)

They also wanted each of the children there to pick an animal to take, and---this is the kicker----they officially made September 30th a permanently commemorated day--"Chase Day"--on their calendar! It blew me away. And, truly, we were MUCH more blessed than they were by our time there.

And, if I even tried to sum up what these four ladies (and so many others at Sunshine School) mean to me, I couldn't do it. They were the minds behind all of this, and have blessed my life in so many ways. It is an honor to call them friend, and to be able to serve alongside them.

Thank you, Amy, Marla, Krista, Jolie, and Rebekah...along with all the other teachers and students and parents of Sunshine School for being a significant part of our CHASE Day blessings this year.

And, as if that wasn't enough, we got more surprises when we picked Abby Kate up from school! Mrs. Marla, her amazing teacher, made a frame with a sweet poem and all her classmates' thumbprint art of angels holding balloons.

The poem, in case you can't see it well on these pictures, says this:

Escape

How happy are balloons

That finally get away?

Escaped from little hands

That tried to make them stay

Where do they go, I wonder?

With no map to guide them

To Heaven I would guess

Where little angels ride them!

How perfect is that? (And would you believe it was written by Jeff Foxworthy? So funny!)

So, Mrs. Marla's class gave this sweet gift to Abby Kate, along with a bouquet of balloons. From the minute we got in the car, she made sure everyone knew that these were her special gifts from her friends in class.

This was a really important thing for her. She got her own celebration for Chase, and I loved watching her plan out how she wanted to send him the balloons.

She wrote on each one, and asked if she could "talk to him" before she sent them.

Sometimes I can't handle her PRECIOUSNESS! She told him that she loved him and to have fun with the balloons and that he is her brother forever. :)

This sweet girl---and her love for her brother...

There have been many moments lately where I am blown away by what she understands about her little Chase. She was really so small when he died. But, she probably talks about him more than anyone. :) Here are a couple of stories I don't want to forget.

The other day, she asked if she could just look at his picture for a while "so she could remember him better". So she took a frame we have of me holding Chase, and a singing card we received (Sarah, all three girls LOVE the Beauty Will Rise card you sent!!) and played the song that means so much to us, while staring at his picture. I couldn't even breathe, it was so sweet.

Then, on CHASE Day, we were eating as a family, and a dad was there with his one year old son, sitting next to us. On our way out, we talked to the little boy and told the father how CUTE his son was. Abby Kate, after hearing that he had just turned one, said "He's just a little bit smaller than our baby brother. He is two today." My heart stopped, because this dad looked confused about why we were all there without our two year old son, on his birthday especially! But, we all just smiled and patted Abby Kate lovingly on the head, and walked out.

I love that she wants to tell the world about him. I love that she wants to stare at his little face. I love that having a brother in heaven doesn't make her sad. It makes her happy. :) I love that she sends balloons and love to him. And, I love that she goes to a school where she AND her baby brother are celebrated and loved too. :)

Thank you Sunshine School for all you have done to make CHASE Day so special for us. We appreciate you all so much!!