Fill Our Beds...Fill Our Hearts

The last week has been quite a transition around this house. For last year's birthday gift, Kendyll asked for a new "big girl" room. She asked all of her family for different pieces of the room, and Mom and Dad's job was to get her a bed and paint the walls.

But, due to a few different factors (the main one being a hopeful mommy who thought she might be moving to Africa), the bed was never bought and the walls were never painted.

Fast forward to last week. I decided to totally rock Kendyll's world, and surprise her with a complete room makeover while she was gone to camp. It was like a happy birthday surprise 6 months later...

So, after a couple of days of sewing, and a day of painting (just kidding...I paid someone else to do it), we were ready for the big reveal. And, boy was she SURPRISED!!!I was hiding out in her new room, while Mark told her I needed her upstairs in Chase's room. (Yes, we still call it Chase's room and Chase's bathroom.) Little did she know we had transformed his sweet room into a NEW sweet room for our biggest girl.

As you can tell by the faces, she was blown away and so so so excited.

As I suspected, Carlie was a bit disappointed to come home to her same old room and same old bed. But, it was good practice in patience and in being happy for someone else who had waited a long time for her birthday gift. :)

And, as Kendyll always does, she was quick to find a way to include her sisters, which was so sweet. She wrote them invitations to a sleepover in her room that night, to which they both wrote a response: YES!

Although it didn't end up being an all-nighter (Carlie decided that her bed actually sounded pretty good, after a week at camp!) it still made the sisters much more excited about the new room. :)

Now, as you can tell, this week also held some transition for this mommy and daddy's heart as well. We took apart our baby boy's room that has been sitting for almost two years.

Two years?! That even sounds strange to ME! I don't know how it took this long. It wasn't really because we couldn't part with it...It was simply because I didn't know what else to do with it. And, it was familiar to all of us.

Moving Chase's things was okay for me, I guess because I knew it was coming and because it is not painful for me to be among his things. Being in his room does not make me sad, as much as it makes me just wistful for him. Does that even make sense? I long for the day when I see him again, and that's kind of where I am resting now.

So, we packed up the bedding, the toys, and the clothes. I bought a cedar chest for all of his special things, so I still have a special place for the keepsakes. And, we just moved the baby bed into the room down the hall, to continue waiting for the little one who will join our family someday.

I've finally decided to take some of his tiny clothes to a sweet little boy named Gabe in Rwanda, who my friend Jana is raising right now. (Read his story here. It's amazing.) It feels good to send these little things to tiny Gabe, knowing that these clothes will go from one little world-changer to another. :)

As Mark was moving toys that Chase would have been playing with right now, we did get a little sad. And, we talked often over the last few days about saying goodbye to his room.

This is hard to explain...but even though we were sad about that, I think what made me cry was just having extra space in our house.

I know that sounds weird, but I have prayed all week for God to FILL UP the rooms of this house. We now have two empty beds...a baby bed and a twin bed. Kendyll is in a new double bed, so there just seems to be more room than ever.

And, I don't like that.

I can't even bear it, actually.

I want my rooms to be full. I want our beds to be full. I want God to "expand our family and enlarge our love", as I say on my adoption blog.

So, my heart is truly aching right now. It has been a hard few days.

I picture the orphans I have visited and the tiny beds they share with other children. I see them with no pillow. Nothing to call their own. Then, I look around this now empty bedroom, and just BEG God to fill it with sweet children who deserve and need a bed---and a pillow--and a family---of their own.

As I moved each toy, and each blanket, and each picture frame, I prayed over the one who will play with, sleep under, and be pictured in each. I prayed that he or she will know deep within that we are here and we love them.

The real "kicker" this week has been my friend Tara arriving at Noel. I have been talking with her over texts the last couple of days, and it is all I can do not to jump on a plane today and be there too. She is already making such an incredible impact and experiencing God's sweet presence in the midst of this overcrowded orphanage.

And, yesterday she told me that she had gone to hold my little Vestine. Ahhhh!!! This is the precious girl who I held, talked to, sang to, and prayed over. And, she has absolutely stolen my heart.

Tara's text said "I saw Vestine today! She is still small and precious. She doesn't like me much; she was scared. I'll win her over. :)"

Just those few sentences have been running through my mind and I have pictured her a thousand times today, laying in that bed, lined up among dozens of other children...I keep picturing the big smile I got when I came back the second day to hold her again, hoping to see it again in just a few weeks. :)

Oh man. I can hardly handle it.

I just don't know how to live both places. I cried to Mark about it this morning, as we drove to run the usual errands. I cried about it again over lunch at Tin Star.

Oh, and Mark wanted me to also add a picture of when HE met Vestine a few months later. :) I love the serious way she is checking out his face. Precious.

I miss these sweet feet. I can't WAIT to be there in just 28 days.

And, at the very same time, I'm so incredibly thankful for this boy's sweet feet, who inspired it all.

Sigh.

Such a time of transition. Such a time of patient waiting. Such a time of gentle (and not so gentle) trusting. Such a time of longing.

But, even still, it's also such a time of joy.

"You love Him even though you have not seen Him. Though you do not see Him now, you trust Him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy." I Peter 1:8

Meeting Dinkenesh...and other Adoption News!

{For adoption news***we're approved!**, visit my adoption blog HERE**we're approved!**It has the latest news we just received today**we're approved!**and some of the other thoughts swirling around in my head**we're approved!**And, now on with the blog!**we're approved!}

We had quite the treat last week, as we gathered for a swim party with some of our friends who are in the process of adopting. But, this wasn't any old swim party. We were there to meet a precious girl who we've loved and prayed for from afar for months: Dinkenesh Sanderson!

My good friend, Jaime, began the road of adoption a couple of months after we did. Through emails and conversations, we shared quite a bit of the early journey, and I loved watching how quickly God called and led Jaime and Murray right into the heart of adoption for their family. He wasted no time in breaking their hearts and bringing their precious girl to them, and it is SUCH a miracle every time I get to meet a family who has been made complete through the blessing of adoption.

It was such a fun day with Dinkenesh, and it made us all smile to think of where she is now, compared to what her life would have been otherwise. She spent the whole afternoon swimming, eating cheeseburgers, yelling "DADDY!" at the top of her lungs as she jumped to him, and laughing so hard as she played with a pool full of kids, who became her instant friends.

And, of course, my girls were IN LOVE. They couldn't get enough of little miss Dinks.

It was also an incredible blessing to sit with these girls, and talk about the serious ins and outs and ups and downs of being adoptive mothers. To have a place to safely talk about all the joys and struggles and fears and doubts and blessings, all the time knowing they absolutely understand...it was really nice.

(This picture is supposed to have YOU TOO, HEATHER! Somehow I didn't get that one?!)

We had a great time catching up with old friends, and making new ones with little Dinkenesh. She is an answered prayer and an encouragement to all of us to keep pressing on and praying our way through this waiting time. Because at the end of the wait, is a CHILD who was planned long ago for our family, and who will be blessed...but, more than that, will be a BLESSING to us and the people around us, just like Dinks. We're so glad you're HOME, sweet girl!

An Important Day!

Whoa. Watch out, y'all. I'm doing multiple blogs in one day.

This one's a very important one that could not wait another day.

Because today's a very special day. In just a few hours...

This friend who I love: {tara}

Is going to this place that I love: {rwanda}

To love on some kids who I love: {at noel}

And, as she goes, she is inspiring everyone who stands in her path to say YES to the Lord in new ways.

I will never forget the morning I woke up to read Tara's late-night Facebook message to me just a week after we were home from our Visiting Orphans trip to Rwanda...

"I have been an absolute mess since I got home. I know God is calling me and I feel like he is calling me to move to Rwanda, but I have no idea what that means. I have no idea what to do. You have been on my mind alot....I remember you saying a couple of times that God is very bold and direct when it comes to His orphans and I have been praying."

Oh, to think how much was to come after this simple surrender before the Lord. This was just the beginning of a truly BOLD walk with the Lord over the next few months, as He made it crystal clear to Tara what her call was. And, Tara followed every step of the way.

My sweet, amazing, selfless friend is now moving to Rwanda to live at the Noel Orphanage and minister to the children there. Did you hear that?

She is moving HERE.

To love on these kids.

To do everyday things that these kids MISS OUT on.

She'll give hugs, teach girls to crochet, tell them they're special, teach them new songs, share the few clothes she is taking with them, paint their nails...

And, more than anything, she'll be AVAILABLE. For what the Lord already has planned for these kids. For what the Lord already has planned for her. She is going to be living life alongside these kids, and able to know what they need. {And, you can follow along on her journey, by the way...Her blog is amazing.}

Now...Tara is not so different than any of you who are reading this. She is a young, creative, fun girl with lots of friends and a family who loves her very much, who could have easily made all kinds of excuses to stay here in predictable USA, and just make a convenient trip or two back to Rwanda over the next few years.

But, instead, she has chosen His way for her life. He has said "Come and follow me" and she has simply spoken a faith-filled YES in response.

Tonight, she will walk away from this American life and take up the call that the Lord whispered in her ear earlier this year.

And, I can't begin to tell you how proud I am to be her friend. She inspires me and encourages me in ways I can't put into words. It's actually hard to believe that we didn't even know each other before our hearts were joined together while loving orphans back in January.

Tara, I love you and your huge heart. I love knowing that this is JUST the beginning of what God has planned for you...plans to bless you, and to give you a hope and a future, in ways we who stay behind could never imagine. Thank you for the example you are setting for so many others. Thank you that my children love you and know you and pray for you. Thank you that THEY are learning what it means to "abandon it all for the sake of the call" because of your great faith and example.

We are covering you in prayer. And......WE'LL SEE YOU IN RWANDA, BABY!!!

Recitals, Graduation, and Camp, Oh My!

So, hello everyone! How ya been?

Enjoying a fast-paced summer like we are, I'm sure!

Before I start on the family events of the last month, I want to give a quick His Chase update!

1. We leave in THIRTY ONE DAYS! Our whole house is SO excited and we can hardly wait! The girls got their shots today, so it's feeling REALLY real that they are joining us this time. By the way, your prayers are greatly appreciated for this little family of ours. We know God will take care of us and will use this experience to show more of Himself to our kids...but we'd also love the prayers for health, safety, and protection. :)

2. From now on, be checking the His Chase blog for updates. I'm trying my best to get my blog back to family business only. Although, how do you really separate the two when His Chase IS a part of our family as well? Anyway, I'm going to try.

3. There is still time to get your own His Chase Summer shirt! Click HERE for ordering details and order today! Our next order is being placed THIS Wednesday, so hurry, hurry! And, let me just tell you that they're going to be AWESOME shirts. The printer is doing these by hand, even mixing the ink to be exactly the distressed look we were hoping for. You're going to want one of these, I promise!

4. As of this very hour, we are up to 131 donations for our FIFTY dollars for FIFTY days campaign! We need 169 more to reach our goal of 300, and we are on very good pace to get there before we leave on July 22nd! If you want to read more about the campaign, go HERE or HERE. To join the campaign click HERE to donate, and help us take care of sweet kids like this one, who is covered in bandages and an intense rash like I have never seen before.

They really, really need this medical attention. Please consider being a part of the restoration going on in this place.

Okay! So, on with the blog title! The last month has been full to the brim with "end of school year" celebrations and events!

The girls had their piano recital after many months of practicing.

Kendyll had decided long ago to have a Sound of Music theme for her songs, and she played My Favorite Things, The Sound of Music, and Do, A Deer . Then, she also played Amazing Grace and---my favorite part of all---her OWN original piece!!

She wrote her own song, which was beautiful, and so creative. It was called Water Dance, inspired by a book we have, and she composed different parts for each part of a rain fall... I was so proud of my big girl. She loves making up her own music and I hope she always keeps this creative part of her piano playing...because I didn't get that kind of musical talent at all. I could play what was in the book, and that's where it ended for me. :)

And, of course...if you know Kendyll, you're not surprised AT ALL that she dressed the part for her recital.

Our awesome Gammy did what she always does. She whipped up a Liesl costume from Sound of Music for the recital just days before. And, Kendyll was so proud of how it all turned out. :) Personally, I love that she still wants to dress like Liesl. Besides the fact that she was SO cute, Sound of Music happens to be my very favorite movie of all time. Hmm...I foresee a Halloween theme.

I was also so proud of Little Miss Carlie, who chose to play "Tale as Old as Time" from Beauty and the Beast. She had thought about wearing a costume too, but decided that she wasn't crazy about the attention that might bring to her. So, she decided to go with blue and white instead, just like Belle wore, only a little more "normal". The girl makes me smile. She also played Jesus Loves Me and Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee.

As soon as we arrived, Carlie found our she was FIRST in the lineup! This was a big deal for my little one who does not like attention of any kind. But, she did great under pressure, and played beautifully.

This was her first year in piano, and she got the award for the Most Improved Student because of how quickly she has learned this year. I love this picture of her teacher announcing her award, and Carlie's big eyes looking up with such pride.

The funniest part of the recital was looking around the room. Every child there had parents, and maybe a sister or brother or two in attendance. But, our family took up two whole ROWS, and everyone wasn't even able to be there!

I so appreciate that our family is always there to cheer our kids on in any event they are a part of. What a crowd of cuties we have!

And, just a couple of weeks later was ANOTHER recital! The girls missed their spring ballet recital (due to a wonderful Disney trip that I STILL haven't blogged about) but Kendyll was still able to be in her jazz performance.

This performance begins AFTER the older girls perform a full ballet, so it didn't even start until after 8:30 at night. Needless to say, our family picture, shows only the backside of AK as she is snoozing away on Daddy. It was a long night. But, we were proud of our little Spanish dancer.

And, Papa Ron actually stuck it out with us through the hours of recital, to support Kendyll too.

It is really fun to see Kendyll's personality come out in her dancing. Let's just say jazz is right up her alley. Along with bright colored costumes, maracas, makeup, and a good drum beat.

She did great, and we cheered hard. Partly because of the great performance, and partly because we can check "dance" off for the next three months in our life. Ha.

And, of course, during all of this fun, we also finished SCHOOL for this year!! (This is going to be our annual "end of school" celebratory picture!)

May 27th was our last day of school, and we had such a great time reliving our year during our last week. The girls reviewed all of their scripture memory work, and we made a grandiose plan for a Family Day where the girls would show their work, sing our hymns, and share our experiences from the year.

Unfortunately, due to our own busy schedules and the traveling schedule of all the grandparents, we still haven't had that happen. And, it might not happen at all. But, I guess we can always try for next year!

The last day of school consisted of several little tests for each of them in Language Arts, Math, Science, History, Bible, Art & Music, as well as a little questionaire about school this year. They did really well on their tests and it was fun to see what they remembered (and what they didn't!) from the year!

Carlie was SO proud to be finishing first grade, and I have just been amazed at her progress this year. To be able to read her own test and respond by herself at the end of this year just made her light up with pride.

After finishing their tests, I told them they had the afternoon free. And, guess what they did?

Yes, on their first afternoon of summer break, they READ?!

Don't worry. This is not always the case. I think this was only because we had bought a few new books at Half Price Bookstore the night before, so there was new exciting material. AND, because they are completing a reading challenge this summer of 1,000 minutes each for a BIG end of summer surprise. But, it was so funny that I had to take a picture.

After work was done for Mark that day, we surprised them with dinner at The Cheesecake Factory for an end-of-school treat. Here are my little students in our end of school picture.

And, a picture with the principal too. :)

We told Carlie that she got to have a kindergarten/first grade graduation like Kendyll did, which meant her first charm from James Avery.

She was beside herself with excitement. And, she spent a LONG time deciding on the perfect thing!

After that, each of the girls got to pick an outfit for camp...which somehow turned into more than one outfit.

And, NOT because of me. Daddy was a softy, and somehow ended up with a bag full of summer stuff! He definitely has a hard time resisting his girls. I mean, he even wore a pink cowgirl hat for AK. :)

After shopping, we all got ice cream desserts for their hard work! Abby Kate surprised the girls with some hard work of her own.

A mosaic she picked out and finished for each of them. :)

The teacher of this school sure was proud of all of her students, and presented them with certificates and fun little ice cream treat graduation tags.

They presented me with the best hugs and thank you's in the world (thanks to Daddy's encouragement!). And, I might have presented myself with a teacher appreciation gift of new summer dresses from Target. :) I am one lucky teacher mommy, that's for sure.

Since school has been out, we've been busy swimming, playing with friends, reading, and going to CAMP!!! This was Kendyll's third year at New Beginnings Christian Camp, and it was Carlie's first year. Everyone was very excited about the week, and the countdown had been going on for well over a month.

As it came closer, Carlie got a little bit more nervous about going without friends and staying away from home all week. But, she is such a strong girl, and refused to give in to her feelings. I talked with her about it and asked her if she was nervous. She said "Well, I'm going to cry. I already know it. But, that's okay." I said "Well, you might not! You're probably going to have so much fun once you're there, that you won't be as sad as you think." Her response, with the Carlie look: "MOM. I'm not going to have any friends. AND I'll miss you. I'm GOING to cry. But, that's okay. I'll just cry in my pillow at night and I won't tell my counselors." Now, this sounds weird, but it's so "her way" of dealing. I told her it was okay to be sad and it was OKAY for others to know!

But, even as I dropped her off, I could see the nervous look in her eyes, and could tell she wasn't feeling great.

But, she just pressed on, making her bed, meeting her cabin-mates and counselors, and putting her swimsuit on. She hugged me hard and said goodbye, and was being strong. Which actually made me melt even more. I teared up more than once and just prayed and prayed for her to have an awesome week. And, she DID!!! She had such a wonderful week, and even though she said "her eyes watered two times", she met lots of new friends and had INCREDIBLE counselors and teachers who took amazing care of her. Now, when I picked her up on Saturday, she ran to my arms and just crumbled. She was sobbing so hard and smiling so big. And, all she could say was "I missed you, Mommy." Oh my goodness. My heart.

Now, Kendyll on the other hand, barely had time to say goodbye to me, or hello to me when I returned. She had things to do, people to see, places to go. I don't think she missed me for a minute (although she wrote me the sweetest note EVER!) and hit the ground running with all of her old friends, and the good group of girlfriends that came with her too.

What a great week they ALL had. I'm still hearing stories daily about their adventures.

I was a crying mess when I picked them up, between Carlie's tearful greeting, and listening to my amazing friend Dava Lynn, speak about what they learned that week in Bible class. They sang their songs and she talked about how THIS group of children is the Kingdom of God here on earth. I thought about my camp experiences and how much they shaped my spiritual faith. And, I'm just so thankful my girls get to be a part of something like this. So many people worked SO hard to make this week happen, and I'm so so thankful.

Well, I may not update this blog as often as I should, but when I do, I don't mess around! That was a month's worth of updates all wrapped in one!